life as myself

feeling burden for a years..
i've been through so many things & problems that conclude most experience in religius stuff, working life, student life, love life, family life..

its been bringing burden to me as the years goin..

i aint ask much.. i feel like i didn't accomplish even a single task that satisfied in one of the field i mention before..

i do pray & belief in god.. that also runs me to be calm sometime, where on the othertime i've been forced to think & think again..

is there a love in space...

at least i've something that i achieve n so on..

do i still keep on believing??

i'm always try to be strong,
try to pretend im strong,

in front of friends, family n colleague

some of them teach me stuff n i glad about it.. but when come to pratical, seems like it kills..

do i need to keep believing??
even if i give up, what will happen next?

its like there no answer for it..

sucks in love life, study live, even past working life..
ohh god...i never confess like this in mylife, allthough im confessing through my blog...

can u show ur miracle???
when im still believe in you?

i feel lonely..
much lonely..
now im down, but im no doubt

its been long time

its really longtime ago since last time i post my blog.
Almost one year. my blog was ruin during my first year in my university

now im gonna give a short brief about my past 1 year,
i was doing a degree program at most boring university, limkokwing.
heh dude im never think that im gonna study here.

since 1st time i plan to go to australia n what the heck happening??
im stuck here because of crisis ..lol
what a bad luck..haa

living in a ghost town called cyber, with boring lifestyle

everyday just feel like in desert..

sometimes thinks better back to my hometown where my buddies there
im feeling frustrated here

luckly still have good points, rite here im still meet those stupid n crazy person that can compare to my buddies..so im still can pretend here

yeahh got one more thing, still got one more problem..
i need to settle something that stuck my heart here
something that im sure i'll feel regret if im not settle it

perhaps can move to australia asap,

just need all ur pray pal..support me..hehehehe

It's for big family

Big family( (not my family...hahahaihaha)... that's all said about jesisca's big family...
What a big fam...From jes, her brother n sister, also her nephew n cousin till her uncle grandpa n grandma( whole of d family) are so close each other (as long as i see it)..

Nowadays, For this Chinese Happy new year, they want to print a T-shirt that d logo( their logo) on it.. Instead of that, she left d design to me for develop.. I'm sure happy for it...
thahaha...i got the design for her..here it is

                              Simple n truly minded

I also made d single short film for d advertise( wohohoho...) . This could be my first advertise
that made n release to public..tehehehe....based on flash n not a very long time to produce it





(it still have a problem..i'll try to resolve it n post it again)

Doom's Day

Shit.. Fu*k.. Damn Ass!!!
Fiuhh...after barking like *** I feel more better..
This week was Hell ...everything's try to kill em..

I'm sick off all
sick of being such a diligent, untired person..\

Life for fun n joy tats much better for me now...

i'm not left my ambition but its time to enjoy my life abit
..................................................................................................

Angel & Demon

Last few week.. I sat at chair n start thinking tat my self in the past has gone n now turn over to other way(mentally i mean).. From punk-life, rude, unstable, no careless to a more native & calm..
also inspired by my stress at my work place..it ambush in here all
Instead of tat feeling of changing.. i try to spread it out at my design
So it's begans with many mindflow n finally stop at 2 character : ANGEL n DEMON

Angel
An angel (lat. angelus, pl. angeli) is a supernatural being found in many religions. In Christianity, Islam, Judaism, and Zoroastrianism, angels, as attendants or guardians to man, typically act as messengers from God.

demon
In religion, folklore, and mythology a demon (or daemon, dæmon, daimon from Greek: δαίμων [ðaïmon]) is a supernatural being that has generally been described as a malevolent spirit, and in Christian terms it is generally understood as a Fallen angel, formerly of God
Angel & demon

the points isn't between the goods n bad..just only wanna to show how impressive it changes n these is the view

Angel

Demon

Pisa Cafe

Mention it!!! Pisa Cafe at Capital Building 2nd floor from basement..I thought it was at the top..hahaha..how silly argue.. Yeah that day intersting.. ex-workmate are coming up to fill the lines-up to..hahaha.. But we came late (me,ayau,johnie & silvi) & i'm just notice that the party is will end. Damn it!! so i'm try to test every food it's left.. Yau!! next day don't take a bath in a busy-time( i'll fix this phrase next day. mean it in indonesia is "waktu yg mepet")

Food are not so special. It's kind of very exspensive for a pizza with fuzzy pasta around it (i'm feel better with pizza hut..lol) cause i'm also the one who join to treat that day. For my resign late this year.hahaha.. It's also kathie last gathering with us (she's got fired..hahaha..lol..her future plan is coming up)..Hear it jorhan, it's worst place to spending money (don't judge it by it's interior man!!) I prefer going to Nelayan than this..

Forget it.. We also celebrate phin's n william's b'day..
here's the pic

At Courtyard


the Birthday's ppl


Mixed

all bout Song

Currently I like these song.. Punks Lyric may suit my mind, Inever mind that mellow may suit myself.
I'm sick of hearing a song that always contain a mellow2 kind thing like love, married, engaged, divorced or sumthin like that.It not teach me at all..
I used to mentally mellow n down while i face a problem..
My Opinion that :
mellow/Pop song created a sensible/sentimental person,
Rock/metal song created an energic person, but sometimes it also made a people warm minded
Classical n Jazz created a more sentimental person too but they are
more stable than anyone else
Punk created a totally energic but it seems teens,
sometimes can run into political..
these song was ambuss by unsatisfaction person
to a more serious life problem(not a love or sumthin like that)

Teenager Are all ass Hole by Hi-Standard
Let's not kill with knives so easily
Society's gift to the world
There is no good reason to hurt somebody
If you wanns stab something, stab your heart
Listen up boys take it easy
There's a place for you somewhere
It's probably right in front of you
Find it yourself
Open your eyes

Teenagers are all assholes

Don't torment your friends and neighbors
Someday you'll see you are small
There is no good reason to assault somebody
If you wanna beat someone, beat yourself
Stress can give you good energy
Stress can be lots of big fun
Are you really running on your own rail
Find it yourself
Open your eyes

Teenagers are all assholes

The news on TV's f**kin' disgusting
What's the reason for this depression
Should the economy depress our hearts
I found it
Open your eyes

Teenagers are all assholes

Duality
I push my fingers into my eyes...
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache...
But it's made of all the things I have to take...
Jesus, it never ends, it pushed it's way inside...
If the pain goes on...
Aaaaaaaah!

I have screamed until my veins collapsed
I've waited as my time's elapsed
Now, all I do is live with so much fate
I've wished for this, I've bitched at that
I've left behind this little fact:
You cannot kill what you did not create
I've gotta say what I've gotta say
And then I swear I'll go away
But I can't promise you'll enjoy the noise
I guess I'll save the best for last
My future seems like one big past
You're left with me 'cause you left me no choice

I push my fingers into my eyes
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache
If the pain goes on,
I'm not gonna make it!

Put me back together or

Seperate the skin from bone
Leave me all the pieces, then you can leave me alone
Tell me the reality is better than the dream
But I found out the hard way,
Nothing is what it seems!

I push my fingers into my eyes
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache
But it's made of all the thing I have to take
Jesus, it nevetr ends, it pushed it's way inside
If the pain goes on,
I'm not gonna make it!

All I've got...all I've got is insane...
All I've got...all I've got is insane!

I push my fingers into my eyes
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache
But it's made of all the thing I have to take
Jesus, it never ends, it works it's way inside
If the pain goes on,
I'm not gonna make it!